The Raging Tech

Music and Memories Flow

It’s amazing how you can be standing somewhere in a lobby and a song comes out over the PA system, and suddenly it’s like you never forgot the words at all. You remember the sunny summer afternoon with the windows in the car rolled down and you remember drumming on the steering wheel and singing to the top of your lungs.

This sensation has happened to me several times lately. Early-to-mid-nineties rock songs that I thought I’d long forgotten will be interspersed on the local rock stations or in bars or restaurants that target my age range. You could tell me the names of these songs and I’d say “No, I’ve never even heard of that song,” and then I’d hear the song and know all the words.

Playing the game Rock Band has triggered some neat memories I’d forgotten about. For example, “Dani California” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers came out as a single on the radio while I worked for Blockbuster Video in Fredericksburg. I remember turning the radio up in the car and singing along to it while waiting in the parking lot to go open the store. “Black Hole Sun” by Soundgarden used to be one of my favorite songs on MTV back when MTV didn’t suck. “Celebrity Skin” by Hole reminds me how much I still despise Courtney Love. She’s like Paris Hilton on crack. Literally.

There’s something familiar, comforting even, about knowing all the words to a song you haven’t heard in a long time. All the feelings, memories, and people you attached to that music when it first arrived in your life come flowing back to you like an unexpected ocean wave slapping you in the face. Maybe all this nostalgia is me getting older.

Do Not Go Gently

WARNING: The following blog post is long, of a personal nature, contains lots of figurative language, and was probably not that well thought out. This is for my catharsis. If that’s not your cup of tea, skip along now, there’s nothing to see here.

The other day I heard someone saying “Do not go gently into that good night; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” Then I was watching Gone, Baby, Gone, and the movie starts off with Matthew 10:16, “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves,” and then the main character starts into a narrative monologue about how people face tough choices every day, fighting the evil in this world without losing your soul.

I’ve been evil and good in this lifetime. Everyone has, I’m not special in that regard. Sometimes I feel like I’m a dark warrior, charged with fighting the evil in the world with my own particular lawlessness. My heart and my soul, they belong to Jesus, of that I’m sure. I’m not sure for what purpose I was made. Generically speaking, I know I was made to glorify God. But then why, oh why, did God see fit to make me a misfit amongst so many of his people? I didn’t wind up a cookie-cutter Christian, but I didn’t exactly go “wild” either.

When I went to Fredericksburg to help start the campus ministry there at the University of Mary Washington, I experienced pain and spiritual attack like I’ve never known. I was constantly in prayer. I stood with our leader, Phil. I supported and followed our pastor, Matt. I prayed for and spent time with the few students we’d met. I forsook forging deeper relationships with the other church members in order to devote my time and energy into being there for Phil and forging relationships with people on the campus.

One day, Matt and Phil were talking, and it was revealed to Phil that Matt never had a campus ministry on his heart for Harvest (the church we were sent to from my church in college). He was doing it primarily for his father, Jim, who used to pastor the church - because he was excited about the idea. If we continued this campus ministry, we were going to be people from Harvest doing campus ministry, not a campus ministry from Harvest. So Phil called it over and ended everything.

It was like the rug was pulled out from underneath us (or like Lucy taking the football away from Charlie Brown). I was crushed and hurt, and until these last few days when I started talking to some people about it again, I thought I’d healed completely over the last two years. Maybe I have - I have just never written all this down before. I’m still not totally sure why I came back to Cullowhee, to be honest. I feel safe here: it feels like home. It seemed like a safe place to get back on my feet.

And now I’m glad I came back. Some of my best friends in this world live here, even after they graduated. They’re people I would lay down my life for - friends. Now when I have ocassion to celebrate, I drink life deep and enjoy the people around me.

I’m also glad to have become better acquainted with Kylara, the lovely girl I started going out on dates with a few weeks back. She makes me smile and laugh and helps me to remember to keep things simple, straightforward and honest. She took care of me when I was sick two days ago, without one word of disgust - even I was kind of grossed out by my sickness. She’s pretty awesome.

So what am I doing now? Taking it day by day. It may not seem like forward motion, but it is forward. It’s not a limp; and it’s not a crawl. It’s not a run or a trip or a stumble. It’s a slow, steady, confident walk into the future. It’s a steadfast pace until I’m called; and then I will run - no, charge - into whatever awaits me. Because that’s what a dark warrior does. He waits to be called, and then he charges headlong at whatever battle he is called in to fight.  The fight will be bigger than me and will probably consume me until I’m gone. But I will not go gently.

T..G..I..Your Mom!

I know. Real mature, right? Well, bite me. I’m not in a mature mood this morning. I got to sleep some last night, which was nice. It’s hard to choose between sleep and hanging out and having fun, sometimes. But eventually, your body will take over and demand that you sleep.

So, thank goodness for Fridays. We have a weekly meeting this morning, then some “project time,” and then lunch and phone duty. But the end of work today is not the main thing I’m looking forward to tonight. Fridays are pretty much always “game night” with me and my friends. Even cooler - the girl I’m dating is in that group of friends, so I get to see her and have our usual Friday night festivities.

Anyway, everyone have a good Friday and keep checking back here for more posts today! Remember, some people call Friday POETS day. Why? It stands for Piss on Everything, Tomorrow’s Saturday. Just FYI. I’m not saying anything but relating to you a fun fact. A little FF.

Oops - We Let It Slip

Some of you may have noticed that over the weekend the site went down, possibly being replaced with another page or search engine. That’s because silly me registered the domain name with GoDaddy and never updated my contact information, so GoDaddy had sent my domain expiration notices to an e-mail I don’t check any more.

To make up for it, I went ahead and registered the domain for the next two years - so count on me being here, writing neat stuff for you to read, for at least that much longer! Everything should be back up and functional now, including my e-mail, thank goodness!

Thanks for your patience over the weekend!

The Apocalypse is Nigh: Navy Tests Futuristic Rail-Gun

According to an article posted to Digg, Fox news reports the US Navy is testing a high-powered futuristic rail-gun weapon that can fire a projectile at speeds up to Mach 5!

Of course, the language chosen, “railgun,” seems to be carefully chosen to accurately describe the weapon, but also incites some sci-fi and video game references that gain it notoriety in the press.

Are we really looking at the wave of future weapons we’ve been promised by science fiction, movies, and video games for years now? Time will tell - but there are definitely some neat projects in the works. The article (linked to above) also has an accompanying video of the weapon in action for you to see (Windows Media Required). How cool is that?

Several Digg comments also hail scientists to go ahead and create the dreaded BFG 9000, as featured in the popular video game series Doom.

A Word on Shout-Outs

A “Shout-Out,” according to UrbanDictonary.com, is:

1. A message to friends, family, etc. lodged on a radio station, web site, or other popular medium.
2. An inane activity chowing up airwaves, electricity, and bandwidth.

You’ve heard them before. Some douche bag gets fifteen seconds of fame on the television or radio, and the first thing they ask the host is if they can give a “shout-out” to their “homeys” back home in “Who-Gives-a-Crap-ville.” This is one of the stupidest things to plague modern media.

It’s perfectly fine if you’re important or on a game show and the host says “So, is there anyone back home you’d like to say hello to while you’re on television?” You know, as long as your list isn’t more than two or three people. Do not name everyone from the ghetto you’ve ever met.

That being said, I’d like to give quick “shout-out” to my readers from Littleton. I’ve been watching the site stats lately and, even though I’ve never been there or written anything pertaining to Littleton, I seem to be gathering a small following there. So, rock on, Littleton! I hope getting a “shout-out” here makes your day. Be sure and tell all your friends your town got mentioned today on The Raging Tech!

Frustrated? Pop Off a Few Rounds

There was a time in my life when I could spend patience on anything and that would be enough to get me through. That time is approximately every night from around 1am until 6:42am, when I’m asleep. For the rest of the day - give me a good round of Halo or Unreal Tournament and I’m good.

Back at Thanksgiving 2006, I worked at Blockbuster Video, Inc. as a store manager, and it could be frustrating to say the least. One of our church members built houses for a living - luxury dream homes, I mean. Which also means his home was a huge luxury dream home. Out back of his house he had actually built his own firing range with a retractable, motorized targeting system that you could staple paper targets to, send it out, shoot, and bring it back.

I shot a .44, a .22, and some sort of handgun I didn’t recognize. That entirely worked out some good amounts of stress. But let’s say you don’t like guns, because they’re dangerous. You can always get air guns and airsoft rifles on the cheap along with ammunition and paper targets. You can setup almost anywhere, and it’s much less likely your neighbors will call the cops on you for firing BB guns in your back yard. Or, you could try paintball and actually shoot at living, breathing, moving targets.

Or you know, there’s always therapy. But bullets are cheaper.